On a flight recently I learnt that as the engines are usually at the back of smaller planes, families with infants are usually allocated rear seats. They are far away from the business travelers and airlines think the noise from the engines will drown out the screams of any child. Anyone who has been in the confined space of an air cabin with a frustrated baby with sore ears and a screech that could challenge any sound barrier will know no engine noise can muffle that. My fellow passenger was Glynn, a stay-at-home-dad (SAHD) who shared this and many baby anecdotes with me. This month's sites are for dads (mostly).

I should be more precise. Glynn is actually "a first time, older but getting wiser, ex-financier, stay-at-home-dad". It was the personal statement he used at his local parent-and-baby group that despite the all-inclusive name, was predominately the territory of mums who didn’t make him feel welcome. "The first visit was like entering a lioness' den, I was eyed suspiciously and was convinced my poor parenting skills would be pounced upon". By giving a little life history he found subsequent receptions, whilst not being as warm and fuzzy as a head rub, reassured him he was not about to be eaten alive. He didn't always feel welcome when he visited baby websites either. So here are some that are definitely for dads.
www.mrdad.com
www.daddyplace.com
www.athomedad.org
www.playfulparenting.com
http://ricedaddies.blogspot.com

What Else Do You Do?

I was not surprised Glynn added ex-financier to his personal statement because many SAHDs are really work-at-home-dads (WAHD), doing consultancy or turning a hobby into an income generator (many of them run the websites listed above). How did Glynn manage with a ten-month old? (Any SAH Mom will tell you it’s a round the clock commitment.) Ironically, with the help of his wife who works full-time. There is a message here. The first link discusses how some women are resuming a career when they return to work after maternity leave. The other were written a few years ago but are about Sweden’s pro-fatherhood policies which have benefited families there.
www.usnews.com/usnews/biztech/articles/070826/3mommy.htm
www.cbc.ca/news/viewpoint/vp_binks/20040616.html
www.sweden.se/templates/cs/Article____12972.aspx

What is an Evolved Dad?

Glynn's father, like many men of older generations, worked too hard and too long climbing the corporate ladder and missed out on a lot of Glynn's early childhood. We both agreed that things are changing for dads, their parenting roles and career opportunities, but how much?

This site and blog link is to a documentary study on how American fatherhood has evolved in the last half-century and what the future may bring.
www.evolutionofdad.com
www.evolutionofdad.blogspot.com

Modern families have evolved to exist without dads. But statistics clearly show that children need their dads, and dads need their children. These websites celebrate this fact and, whilst the first link has some sobering facts, they all are dedicated to positive fatherhood.
www.dadsindistress.asn.au
www.bsi-international.com/fatherhood.htm
http://globalfatherhooddialogue.blogspot.com/

Things Can Only Get Better

Figures from the research links below show the extent to which US fathers were participating in child-rearing and fathering activities. A comparison with statistics gathered from studies of fathers with older children shows fathers are increasingly more hands-on and everyone is benefiting.
http://nces.ed.gov/pubs2006/2006002.pdf
http://www.rebeldad.com/2006_06_01_archive.html#114916085867646295

Gadgets

Glynn has been a self-confessed gadget freak since his daughter was born. You name it, he had it: wipe warmers (perfect for nighttime changes), baby thud helmet (protection for when she starts walking), and he was thinking of getting a baby cry analyzer. I asked "Why?" "As a dad I need the props. They just make things that don't come naturally at first a little easier". Good answer. These commercial sites have great ranges.
www.babygrapevine.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/BabyGrapeVine.woa
www.thenaughtyseat.co.uk
www.lullabys.co.uk
www.firebox.com/product/1323?src_t=hfp

When we disembarked the plane Glynn had to run for a connecting flight. I wished him all the best. "Likewise" he called "and as Homer Simpson would say 'I won't lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy like motherhooh'".